Yes it is, it's the magic number..."

Welcome back listeners and boy do we have a show for you today, the energy here in the studio is simply electric. I can now, (finger in ear), yes i can confirm the phone lines are now closed, all votes have been counted and the results are ready to be announced. In keeping with modern times, the age of the compilation, league tables and bullet points and in view of the shortening attention span of todays youth i have reduced, simmered down to a rich gravy if you will, my observations and entertainments of the last couple of months. The results have been reformatted to be accessible yet informative, incisive and still overarching, oh and so a la mode it hurts.
I give you my top 3's.

Top 3 Life Affirming Moments:
Climbing to the top of Mount Rinjani in the middle of the night to get to the top for sunrise. Only not quite making it it time and deciding not to bother with the last 400meters ascent in favour of eating cookies and smoking tabs.
Sipadan - the best dive site ever! I haven't felt that alive since i tried to join the Silly Buggers society at Eton.
3 hour motorbike journey wearing full backpack up mountainous dirt tracks. Think i may have broken with protocol and gripped the drivers waist. Should have took a cab on reflection.
Top 3 Unintentional Double Entendres:
"My knees not so good now because i go down so many time" - Porter on volcano trek
"Oh don't worry, we not loose them, i have small boy in the bottom" - Guide on Volcano trek
"Yesh, vee like it hard and raw in Germany" - Nauseating German on Volcano trek who insisted on telling me about his thrash metal band.
Top 3 Emails received:
Paul Smith's Rasta Dub Poems - 'Accutely Political, Bitingly Real' The Guardian
'Dear Rupert, thank you for your email, you are more than welcome to join me in sailing my yacht to Australia next month. Call me on..."
'You have won the lottery - just open the attachment and your winnings will be forwarded directly to your bank account' - how was i sposed to know it was spam?!!
Top 3 Travelling Partnerships:
Wetfoot, Flemmy and Nick; the Borneo Collective AKA the Last of the Unmarried. Early risers the lot of 'em but still bloody good folks.
Jasmin, Germanys future diplomatic envoy to Indonesia!
Lucy and the Pussycats - sounds like a girl band that - Alex i guess that means you're on the drums!
Top 3 Dismal Musical Experiences:
Feigning interest in being taught November Rain by Guns and Roses on the guitar, by some tone deaf 'what I lack in talent i make up for in raw energy' Balineese local.
Singing 'Born to Be Wild' in after hours kareoke bar in Sibu, only westerner in the place. Utterly arseholed, god i love that song.
Gamelan music. I know I know it's an intrinsic part of Balineese culture, a cornerstone of their traditional heritage and all that, but you goto admit it sounds like a toolkit in a washing machine.
Top 3 Things to look Forward to:
Sailing down through Indo to Timor next week and maybe seein some of them dragons on the way. Then, having won the Ashes by the time i get to Oz.
Cheese. God i want some cheese.
State Pension.
Top 3 Beach Faux Pas:
Mullit, hoop earing, white jean cut offs, chest wig, frisbee (bloke).
Orange Brummies venting spleen at beach hawkers; ' Naw, eye do not want any bluday pyneapple - Or Ryte!'
Speedos, cigar, and cowboy hat. There should be a law.
Top 3 Late Nights:
4am sit down meal with Kuching underworld members we'd apparently met earlier at 'Cat City' nightclub.
Full Moon on Gili Trawangan - mushrooms turned my shoes into a small boy, strangely.
Semi Nekid vollyball in the rain and the mud in the middle of the night in the middle of the jungle in the middle of nowhere.
Top 3 Skin Complaints:
A rather interesting rash on my elbows, seems to be clearing up now.
The onset of trenchfoot in the Jungles of Borneo
Got a downy patch of hair on my chest - is this normal?
Top 3 Books Read:
The Complete Enderby Series - Anthony Burgess (Smiffy you need this in your life!)
Brief Interviews With Hideous Men - David Foster Wallice (so so good)
How to Give your Body and Hold onto your Dignity - Chad Barnett (contender for the Booker apparently)
Top 3 Gastronomic Encounters:
Pan fried chickens feet in a 'please enjoy our specially prepared local delicasie while we watch you expectantly' sort of situation
Jack Fruit - looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, is not in fact chicken.
Steak and a bottle of Shiraz (such extravagance!) shared with that special someone.
Top 3 Hawker Sales Tactics:
"Mista, mista where you come from? England? Oh Lovely Jubbly. You want to buy porno, big cocks!'
"Mista you want water" - No thanks i already have water as you can see
"No this water better' - That water is exactly the same
"No is better, only 3 thousand" - Look, i have water, see?
"Mister, where you from"? - England
"Oh England, lovely jubbly, you wanna buy water?"
"Hello brother, you wanna buy ecstasy, is good" (Sits on haunches in the sand, eyes rolloing back into head, hugs knees, falls slowly sideways, adopts foetal position, moans quietly)

Well thats all we have time for this month, thanks for tuning in and a special thankyou to all those who took part and voted. A reminder that all the money raised will go to a nice peanut seller i met in Semporna. Bye for now and don't touch that dial.